Hugs, Scarlet. That all sounds very difficult. Could you think of yourself as also partly relying on G for emotional support? You also have us on here, of course--post here as often as you need/would like.
The tattoo sounds lovely! I also love peonies--we used those as part of the bouquets in our wedding, though only for the actual bridal/bridesmaid bouquets--they were so expensive that we just went with lilies and roses for the tables (those were also in the bouquets).