The mourning is real.

It's mourning everything.... The death of the personality I thought I knew.

The loss of a parent for my kids.

The lost investment of time and emotion.

The loss of our.... OUR.... supposed future hopes and expectations.

And I refuse to let myself get angry about this. Anger is just pain, fear and loss coming out as aggression. I'd rather feel the base emotions and deal than get angry.

I still worry about her, and I still pity her.

YES........ She will latch onto someone, or someones else to tell her story and get through. And she won't have a home and a family, and someone who will offer her devotion.

Sorry to the other guys and her besties, but I'm the best thing that ever happened to her. She would have had it better here than anywhere else. I've never failed to look after the people I love, and she was prioritized among them.

I also don't want to become jaded about relationships, or feelings of commitment or devotion should anyone else ever show up in my orbit.

RDMercer