Thing is the peer working said she was in recovery 6 years so according to them it's totally possible to get better if it's not possible to be 100%. The way they were talking made it seem like it was me specifically that would never get better.

I sometimes look at the future in a positive manner. That's when I don't drink/use/binge/SH/screw around. Problem is I don't know how to keep that up 24/7 and when I can't keep that thinking up, I don't know how to keep the behavior up yet.