Inpatient stays are no longer helpful unless I need an ASAP med change like if it's a legitimate schizoaffective episode (which now that I know how to use my meds it rarely is), usually the real mental health "crisis" is over before I get stitched up/detoxed/brought to the hospital unnecessarily by first responders who are told to by whomever. I found the idea of a crisis center helpful, less extreme/intensive, more "a place to not self-destruct for a few days" rather than the full-on inpatient experience, but the one I got sent to sucked.

The thing I'm worried about is if I do end up in the ED is they'll decide I'm a danger to myself or others and because I'm not allowed at the voluntary place, they'll send me to the state hospital (a month wait in the ED for 2 days to see a doctor to say "yeah you're good to go, here's a CD saying stay on your meds, go to therapy, don't do drugs, don't get into fights").

I plan on staying off the substances, yes. Today will be 18 days clean, I only have a roof over my head if I'm off of everything (trust me, she's making sure of it, and she's not even letting me unpack), and I'm waiting to hear back from a few different sober living options out of town.