So I've been talking more with Dr. T about what happened with ex-MC. Monday, he was saying how it seemed ex-MC interjected himself in my relationship with H, such that he became a part of the relationship. Rather than trying to help the marriage from the outside. And then he was sort of stuck in that role. Which I know is probably glaringly obvious to people on here. But it helped to hear Dr. T say that.

Today, we were talking more about what happened after my "I love you so much" email after that concert. Where ex-MC told me that I had to reduce outside contact and put up more boundaries. Dr. T today said that he "kitchen-sinked" me. Where he cut off everything ("the kitchen sink"--American idiom). Rather than focusing with what had just happened, the "I love you." And processing that, then maybe moving on to other things.

It's giving me a different perspective on it. Also that it was a mix of my personality and needs, ex-MC, and H that led to what happened in terms of the marriage counseling. Like maybe it's not one person's fault, but just a mix of everything. Though as I said today, ex-MC, as the trained therapist, was ultimately responsible for boundaries, etc. And he shouldn't have let things get to where they did. I'm pretty sure that Dr. T would not have let that happen, had he been our marriage counselor (in an alternate universe). He wouldn't have allowed me to contact him separately, if nothing else. I even said today that it would have hurt like hell, but ex-MC really should have referred us out, once I told him about the transference. Would have ultimately saved a lot of hurt in the grand scheme of things. And probably helped the marriage, too.