An update many months later.

So A., that guy whom I rejected in mid-1990s, came to visit from London and left the day before yesterday. He is a complete no-go, and I mean complete. I am so glad now that I no longer need to harbor regrets that I rejected him back then. Why he is a complete no-go deserves a separate thread, on here and in the Bipolar forum.

In the meantime, the Indian guy has been meeting with me probably once a week on most weeks. I was actually going to tell him BEFORE that guy A. was to come that I would be reconnecting with him, and my psychiatrist/therapist encouraged me to do that, by my 30 year old son (who met the Indian guy once in 2021 and found him extremely shy) advised me to wait since it was not clear that the relationship with A. would work out. I am now glad that I followed my adult son's advice since the relationship with A. did not work out and I would have made the Indian guy unnecessarily heartbroken.

It is clear that he loves me. He even said so, sort of under his breath (because he knows I do not encourage such conversations).

He has not sought any other relationships and he has, on more than one occasion, asked that we try again and that this time it would better. I did not say yes or no, I just did not say anything.

I do not see what would make it better now.

But food for thought.