Quote:
Originally Posted by ScarletPimpernel
I'm becoming teary about G's recent email to me! I wrote him an "Are you there" email. It's a simple email that's seeking withness and understanding. G just responded so sweetly.  He said he is there, and he was so understanding with his mirroring and confidently reassured me that we could keep me safe. He signed "with you".
Lemon, you're right that I shouldn't be ashamed of my tears. L says it's part of my beautiful multitudes. AND this is so not like me.
I don't think this sensitivity is depression or due to my med changes. I think it's my body and mind's protection wearing down from months of "anticipatory grief", as L called it. I don't like being so sensitive. And I don't like feeling any connection to G especially right now. And yet, his email was just so reassuring. Ugh! |
That does sound like a very caring response. It's OK to feel connected to him. Are you afraid if you feel connected to him that it will take away from your connection to L, like betray her in some way? Or is it because the relationship will only be temporary? Or maybe because he's male? Just guessing here.
In terms of your grief, maybe it would help to just tell yourself it's OK to be sensitive right now, that you're dealing with a big change coming up, with L being out. Also to remind yourself that the change is temporary.