Quote:
Originally Posted by LonesomeTonight
That does sound like a very caring response. It's OK to feel connected to him. Are you afraid if you feel connected to him that it will take away from your connection to L, like betray her in some way? Or is it because the relationship will only be temporary? Or maybe because he's male? Just guessing here.
In terms of your grief, maybe it would help to just tell yourself it's OK to be sensitive right now, that you're dealing with a big change coming up, with L being out. Also to remind yourself that the change is temporary.
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I think I feel scared about feeling connected to G because he is a stranger and a man. Feeling connected opens me up to him, makes me more vulnerable to him harming me. How? Idk. It's scary to realize how he affected me. If he was a woman, it would still freak me out, but that would be because I would then feel like I was betraying L.
I'm not too worried about the relationship being temporary. 1. He might be useful to have as a backup therapist in the future. 2. I don't want an attachment to him, nor am I afraid I'll have one with him. It also helps that I don't have to be with him in-person.
Being okay with my sensitivity (aka self-compassion)... L has been trying to teach me that this year, especially the last couple months. It's difficult. She wants me to learn to have compassion for all my parts (SI, hide-shrink, child, sensitive/emotional, etc.). She says my protective parts are just trying to protect my hurting parts, and that we need to be gentle and loving towards all my multitudes. I'm finding it difficult to love my overly sensitive parts because I feel like they're putting me at risk, in danger.
Yes. Thank you. All of this is temporary. T used to tell me that too. I need to remember that.
Thanks, LT.