It's really hard to navigate this particular reality...

But it can be done! I'd like to try meditation, but so difficult to start. I just have a feeling, that something big is happening (And that's not because of hearing anyone else say it..), I just feel a releasing, or building..

Who knows, I could die soon.. I told people that I would. No one ever knows though.. Just have to realize everyone dies - And people always do well by finding meaning (Spiritual, possibly), being around supportive people, necessities met.. Self actualization is what we try to achieve. Some people are super smart, or lucky...

Sorry that you're having hallucinations though. For me? I have no idea what is real.. I just think too deeply idk.. There has to be things to ground us.

Example, I know that psychedelics (Often can cause psychosis and hallucinations), they bring you high up in the sky.. And opioids? They bring you down to Earth... Grounding.. Opioids are the only class of downers that are also partially antipsychotics - But antipsychotics? - They obviously help with psychosis, bring you down to the ground.. Grounding.. Cuz they decrease like every single neurotransmitter/neuronal activity, decreasing all the electricity, so the brain/mind can be healed (Like a slowing down of connections.. To prevent much further damage)..

I'm always optimistic though, about the spiritual, psychosis-like things.. It can be concerning for family members - But at least I take my meds every day.. I just take other chemicals (Cuz I'm so interested in them), and altered states of consciousness, shamanism etc (Which is a part of schiz - But doesn't have to be for you..)..

The best thing, is to stabilize yourself as much as possible, and hang on.. Because life is really tough, but beautiful things happen, and it's worth it.. If you live.. In the end?, whatever destiny lead us here - We couldn't make any other decision to change how we got here.. Can't change the past.. We're responsible (Always) for the now, and what we can do with it..

We're spiritual beings, and I'd hate to break the ice right now, but Western society is the only civilization to have no God/religion... Our smart brains decay while cultured/growing up here.. While the shamans/true religious people? - They thrive.. And their neurons connect naturally (Like ancient civilizations/cultures/tribes) - Yknow.. the rain dance thing..

And it seems really horrifying (Especially with trauma).. Trauma is just something "Bad" that happens.. And how can that be repaired/healed, in this sick society? - And it spread to become worldwide, for the first time in history.. It's all by design..

Don't stress too much though.. There's a reason they call is "Post Traumatic Stress Disorder" (Or maybe that's just me, and I could just be talking nonsense.. But continue talking (: I like new people...)

And also people can be autist.. Just really smart - The opposite, thrive.. Many are all intact.. Suffering, but no psychosis.. Most people (If not, all) are delusional though in some way.
And people should ultimately be both..
That's where the neurons don't die...
They connect, and change (In a healthy way).
That's the balanced life..

But smart isn't what everyone is supposed to be.. Yknow the way people judge each other.. Fight.. Love is important, empathy, wisdom, life experiences, stories etc.. It's all analysis, and a story.. Visual patterns, audio frequencies, more than 7 senses - Infinite senses.. What we're all doing.. Is existing, and dealing with our mind, body, soul, environment, what's real.. No one agrees on what's real, ever.. Cuz we're all subjective..
Sharing, connecting.. We're social..
Cuz of the non-dualism thing
Self and other... All one..

To laugh, to cry, celebrate, fall over while drunk, build machines.. It's a big trip (Not in a scary way, but also that.. And to deal with it, is overcoming.. Telling the story - Feeling it yourself, explaining it, sharing it, getting feedback, understanding - That's the expression of the universe.. Like flowers and bees, or ecosystems..)

The world is like a cloud, swirling in the wind/sky - Or a galaxy, swirling around, matter crashing into matter, stars exploding.. All witnessed by our one mind..