I spend countless hours worrying and obsessing on how to keep myself safe from the things I am a afraid of, yet when I am faced with a trigger or a situation I cannot control I just completely lose it. My anxiety practically bursts out of my chest and I feel as if I scare others around me with my panic.
I'm constantly told I'm choosing to let my mental illness control me, which doesn't feel fair, because I feel helpless to control it in any sense.
I spend so much time on compulsions and obsessive thoughts that I hardly feel like a normal human sometimes. I find it very hard to feel joy when things get this bad.
I am looking into anxiety medications. Hoping perhaps it will help.