I fell asleep around 9 last night so I woke up around midnight. My mom thought I had left the house because I got dressed, and she wants me gone by Nov. 1. I'm gonna face it : I've had tactile hallucinations that caused me to pick at my skin like crazy, my physical health is shyt because of whatever I did to my body with the past substances and active eating disorder (will get blood test results by tomorrow night), at times I'm super talkative and hyper, other times I'm passed out on the couch, so right now it does seem like I spent the past few nights using. It's fine haha, I got a free ride lying and hiding for years; this is my time to soak in the repentance.

Another plus is I'm up to 20mg on the Abilify and 100mg Lamictal, and I'm noticing a lot less anger/impulsivity/"ecstasy or despair" emotions/dissociation. I look like absolute doggy doo but I'm actually doing pretty well.