Struggling with this today. Feeling lonely and down.

Still can’t come to terms with how something that started off, so promising, and with someone who seemingly became my best friend, right up until the last time, I saw her… Could end so dramatically and abruptly… Almost without any real notice.

How does that happen? How can someone just turn off like that?

Well, I’ve been watching a lot of videos that theories that people who have had complicated histories with relationships, often become avoidant. Then, with a new relationship arises, they idealize their new partner, and put them up on a pedestal and pretty much love bomb. Yep I kind of did that too, because I thought she was awesome.

Then, when real life sets in, they begin to nitpick in an effort to create distance with their partners… Then they can often go into a phase, called deactivation, where they stop feeling kind of feelings that they think are necessary in a relationship, and this often pushes them towards distancing more, and eventually breaking up. They bury their feelings through a lot of this process, so they confuse their lack of enthusiasm and love, and start to believe that their partner is not the right one for them…

Ultimately, what often happens, is that once they start to come out of the deactivation phase, which is often quite a bit longer after the relationship has been sacrificed, then they can start to realize what has happened, because a lot of the feelings come back, that had been buried beneath the surface.

If this is what has happened, it’s really sad. I don’t know what to think about it. I mean, clearly, if this is what happened, do I really want to have to go through this again? I’ve been devastated over the last three weeks. It seemed like I lost my best friend And what I feel could be my last chance at that kind of happiness. I was elated for the five months I knew her, until I could kind of sense that she was starting to pull away.

I don’t know what to think. All I know is that I hurt so badly, and everything around me seems so dark and finer. I’m just starting to feel a lack of hope and somewhat of a disinterest and carrying on. Just don’t feel like I have much left in the tank.

Can anyone else relate to this?