Quote:
Originally Posted by Molinit
It's not necessary for anyone to say "why don’t you just go out and find somebody more compatible?”
The alternative to being with that person is not finding another person. Maybe it's being by yourself for a while. Maybe it's dating a few people for a while instead of attaching yourself to another person.
As divine said, just because someone doesn't want to continue having a relationship with you it's not necessary to hang a label on them or diagnose what kind of attachment style they have. Nothing went wrong - she just decided not to continue with you. Maybe there's someone else on her horizon, maybe she wants to be alone. Who knows and it doesn't matter.
I'm like her - if I'm done and I've told you, you won't hear from me again. I doubt you are going to hear from her if she went to the trouble to tell you she didn't want to keep seeing you.
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I am not sure I am agreeing with you. If this is true, then she’s either a really good actress, or I am completely blind. We were basically best friends until just prior. You can’t fake that.
There are online therapists that illustrate just this kind of break up. They will say… “You know what you felt, and you know what you saw. You know that they loved you, because you can’t fake that”.
That’s how I saw it. She couldn’t fake it. The last time her and I were together intimately, which was before the last three week break, it was clear that there were still a lot of gas left in both of our tanks. I just don’t see gas disappearing like that, without some sort of collapse. I just don’t. That could never ever happen in my head.
This girl and I spoke every single morning on her way to work for most of the last four months I knew her… And pretty much every single night before she went to bed, right through her last trip a week before she announced she was ending it.
She always seemed happy to see me. Always was eager to talk and connect. You can’t just make that stuff up. Something went down with this girl. Either outside influence, or mental health crisis.
Yes, I may just be disgruntled, or incredibly heartbroken, looking for reasons to validate why I feel jilted and jaded. I deserve to feel that. I put a lot of effort and love into being with her. I didn’t deserve being ousted without even a chance to truly Negotiate in earnest. I think I deserved that.
And lastly, she didn’t say she didn’t want to see me. She wanted to remain friends, “maybe after a while, and you aren’t mad at me anymore”. Something like that. So, she kind of wanted her cake and eat it too. There’s not a relationship coach or Therapist anywhere that recommends that.