Quote:
Originally Posted by divine1966
She’s 61. I find it interesting that you are referring to her as “a girl”. Why?
It’s possible there is something wrong with her or something went down but in a long run why does it matter? You can’t make her date you. I’ve met men who were convinced that me saying “no” to dating them wasn’t really valid and they need to continue pursuing me despite me not being interested. Rejections are hard but fighting it isn’t going to resolve it
Of course she liked you but does it mean she must continue relationship with you? For whatever reason she just decided against it. Maybe she decided that starting relationship in her 60s just isn’t worth the hassle. Maybe her family influenced her. Maybe it’s something else. But there’s not much you can do about it
My best friend is a single 60 something woman. She decided she doesn’t want to date at all and will not get into relationships anymore. She lives a very busy exciting life. She doesn’t want to entangle herself with a man. There is nothing wrong with her. It’s a perfectly valid option to stay single as well as option of staying friends. Maybe your lady decided it’s too much work
Also many older people with comfortable life style don’t want to start relationships because it might mean they need to take on and financially support another human being or they need to substantially alter their life style. Many don’t want to do that.
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I suspect you are right on many accounts… I just don’t think she has it in her, at least, for now to keep fighting herself on this. I guess it doesn’t really matter, but I do wish I knew more about what was going on with her.
I suspect the big talk I had with her damage her sense of self in the relationship, because I suspect that the pedestal that I was initially on, had been coming crashing down, and that probably was the final blow. I didn’t think that was gonna sit well with her, and I thought I had perhaps dodged a bullet, but clearly not.
Still, almost all of the dating experts, some of them long time, therapists, insist, that if you had a good relationship, and there was enough love and care in it, which there was, and you didn’t have a hostile break up, chances are more than likely, it’s not quite good, that I will hear back from her again in the future.
They say that I shouldn’t be waiting around for that to happen, and I am not. I went out on a rare date, if you want to call it, that, a week ago, and I don’t want to stop moving towards other opportunities. My heart is having a bit of a hard time with that, though. Many would say it’s not proven to be looking towards moving on already.
All this being said, there are so many pointers that this came from some sort of mental health crash, then I could probably give you point after point of potential evidence, but as you say, what does it really change? It’s not gonna change me, feeling jilted and abandoned by somebody that I thought care deeply about me. I know she cares deeply about me. Why someone that cares deeply about somebody else with so quickly stomp on their heart, and barely without, any kind of real care about why they are doing it or seeming empathy that they are hurting you. That just seems incongruous with the girl that I knew.
As far as calling her a girl… I think I call all the ladies I know girls. I called myself a boy. Perhaps because I still feel somewhat like a big kid… :-)