bebop and sky do understand and I truly benefit from everything you're telling me. There are some others here as well who have really helped me escape some obvious misbehavior and understand the effects of csa and ptsd.

Without all of you, I would have hit bottom. I felt like I was crazy and going over the edge, watching myself do things that were just not me. At one point I even wondered whether I might have a dual personality and could watch one of me doing things I wanted no part of.

I'm always happy to hear the feedback. After I post, I drop back in a couple times a day to get updated. Thank you for caring. All of you.