wtf. It's 30dF, snowing, I'm really friggin sick, I passed the drug tests, I've been going to all my appointments, other than when she flipped out at me first (I did kinda knock a chair over yesterday**), I've been controlling myself, but I still gotta go today. I tried asking my one fking sober friend if I could stay at his house, but he blew me off. My case manager couldn't get me into a crisis or respite center right away so I guess I'm searching for a non-****** shelter where nobody hates me which is going to be extremely ****ing difficult.

**I am such a screw up, and idk how to fix that.
My mistakes: 1) Getting sick and needing meds. 2) Getting further sick, driving to the hospital, but getting a ride home, and leaving my car there. 3) Asking my mom to pick up my meds on her way home because I don't have a car and allowing her to agree to that. 4) Only reminding her to pick them up once and allowing her to forget throughout her workday, making her come all the way home first 5) The pharmacy didn't have them ready, so she had to wait, so I pissed her off. 6) Being "General ****-Up" like my dad.

Speaking of my dad... I know a place where there are such low standards I'll be accepted
edit: nah screw that I'm actually trying to get better and I remember what it's like there

I am so procrastinating. All my stuff is packed except like four things, but I'm trying to delay leaving as much as possible.