Elio,
You made me cry! What you wrote was so beautiful and understanding and it gives me some hope. I'm sorry your struggling, too. And I'm perfectly okay with your post being about you as well! All we know is our own experiences, so I value you sharing.

I am trying my best. Reaching out to G, reaching out here on the forums, even continuing to try to communicate my needs on the forums, and so much more, are evidence that I'm trying. Not SH'ing, following my safety plan, taking my PRNs, even admitting to the possibility of hospitalization: trying.

Thank you for seeing me and understanding.