When someone abuses alcohol like your wife they become their own victims trapped in their physical and mental need to consume alcohol. This is how it is for all drug addicts. Actually they become trauma bonded to their addiction and everyone around them suffers. They tend to blame others for their problems and exhibit mood swings that everyone around them are expected to accept and accommodate. Their needs come first and they fluctuate from being demanding to being a needy victim. Hence they can suddenly decide they were wronged and lash out in inappropriate ways. Like a narcissist they create and live in constant drama which is part of the ongoing problems that come with addictions.

People that are exposed to this end up worn out because they never know what mood is going to take over. Once this is removed from daily life that’s when spouses and children start to experience actual relief.