Scarlet, it's great that you can identity your needs and ask for understanding. People here won't necessarily seek to meet your needs or speak in the understanding way that you desire. We do not operate from a script and you miss a lot of useful stuff when you disregard or rally against things which people say because it does not fit your prescriptive version of understanding and empathy. I see people who take the time to respond to your posts in a variety of ways and there is real value in that and a kind of consideration. No one is defending other people because no one is attacking anyone, there is no need for people to justify perspectives. People are discussing and responding and offering words, this will look different because we are different people. For example, I find it difficult to offer "understanding" for a variety of personal reasons, but I still want to contribute and offer my thoughts.