babe - you've gotta breathe! no one can do that for you =(
((((((((((silver))))))))))))
I hear you - things suck right now and you are overwhelmed. GOtta push everything away mentally until you can have some space.
i think seeing a therapist is a good idea. but remember (something i am finally learning) they can't fix it - they are there as a companion with some good ideas while you lead yoursef out of the darkness.
Breathe - keep writing - try to either give yourself some space, or the opposite - do an outpouring in here of writing and vent all that poison right out of yourself.
i'm out here.
kiya