When I get asked "Hru" at work, I'll say "I'm trying to be good - But the whole universe is caving in on itself!" (Just so they know that I'm not faking trying to be good.. Even though I actually am good, for their sake - To not seem insensitive, but also to let them know, that when I'm in a bad state, and they are good?, to put them in their place..)

Cuz on Sunday? I left work at 12pm and the owner of the restaurant, she said "You're leaving early? Why?" and I said "My dad is visiting", she said "Quit your job?" (And I threatened to leave 2 months ago cuz of the immigrant asking questions) - I said "What?", and there was a silence, and she said "Nothing"...

So I walked home, ruminating - I got really agitated (Cuz the day before, I was working aggressively - Cuz I had an appointment soon after work, and didn't want to miss it, or tell anyone before hand that I had an appointment/Cuz I didn't want to make it seem like I have appointments all the time + Didn't want to talk to anyone) but I made up for it the next day (On Sunday) by working really slowly (Yet got everything done at the same time);

I try to get everything done ASAP, to leave early (At 12pm-12:30pm). In the beginning, her husband (Other owner) said "You will work from 9am-12:30pm or 2pm" - But if I get everything done, *and it's not busy*, idk when I'm supposed to leave either.. And I hate standing around.. I went on my phone (Which I do rarely) when the immigrant chef was working and he said "Oh you're on your phone" (Like I was lazy) and said "Does your mom pay for you to work less or what?" - He was 100% judging me.

Anyways, all of this annoyed me - So on Sunday (After work), I was at home - Sitting by the phone, waiting to be brave enough to call the restaurant (To speak to the owners - Cuz I didn't want a misunderstanding to be bothering me until tomorrow when I work again) - I said "Is there a problem? No one listens to me etc etc" and she said "No there's no problem. What are you talking about? I like you" and I said "About 'quitting my job'", she was like what?, and I said "The chef! Are you taking your anger out on me cuz the chef quit" and she said "If the old chef doesn't like working here, that's his problem, not ours", I then said "Oh ok nvm..".

I felt better about that when I hung up. I told my dad (While we were driving in the car), and it was too confusing to explain to him - But I explained it to my mom just now,

So everything is okay, hopefully.. there are no problems tomorrow..

+ I sometimes arrive at work at like 9:02-9:05am (I mostly try to make it there at 8:50-8:55am - I just end up leaving at 8:50am, cuz I find it hard to wake up..), sometimes 9:15am - When I come in early (To drink a coffee before work), they often pour a second coffee, and I end up working at 9:10am. They said "You can come in at 10am, we don't care" (But they have to pay a minimum of 3 hours) .. But I fear that they would think I'm cheating them if I only stay for 2 hours and 45 minutes or something.. So I stay an extra 10 minutes when I come in late (Or how ever long it is), but sometimes I don't...

Maybe I'm overthinking heavily, and all of this is stupid.. But that's how I think. That the restaurant shouldn't even be open - And they should be in an underground bunker, preparing to live longer, or partying with drugs or stealing to survive like the rest cuz no one will afford food much longer, and potatoes etc will be scarce to deliver for cooking.. Yet the owner is stressed and she said "I have to pay the bills" - But they chose to do that for a living, and didn't save up any money (And they're much older than me - And I don't have as much to save as they did at my age, yet I'm still doing it - Even though it looks bleak in the future)..

So that's what I want them to understand.. Yet nothing should be taken seriously anyways.. I don't have to work, why should it concern them. They pay taxes, but they only pay 1 cent every day equivalent divided by everyone for me.. She asked me "Do you have another job?" (Cuz I said that I wanted to not work in November, cuz it's dead) and I said "Why?", and she said "Just asking..", so I work until the 12th.. Even though I don't work much anyways, I'd rather not - And it shouldn't matter what I personally do with my time if it's all about money to them. It's supposed to be about community - And unless one persons taxes magically crosses through near infinite dimensions to pay for everything whenever someone claims to complain about something not being the way that they personally want it to be (In his/her own opinion), even though politicians are corrupt, no one can agree on anything - And people are supposed to debate, but censorship happens, I don't understand. Just leave me alone. I'm not smart enough to fix my own existence let alone the whole universe/space and time, and read every religious text, go to law school, make everyone happy - When they're all holograms or different versions of me.