My Support Forums - View Single Post - It seems I can't find anyone to be in a relationahip with

Fuzzybear · Nov 03, 2023 at 05:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by eskielover

How is your relationship with parents & family? I ask because one of my problems was that my parents were totally dysfunctional & growing up every relationship was only surface level for me. I didn't have a clue how to have a real meaningful "connected" relationship so my dating was that way too. I dated a lot but never had a real boyfriend. Even my marriage was that way. I knew deep down inside relationships must be more than I experienced but never felt it.

I thought, I am the common denominator so it must be me with the problem. I seemed to keep attracting dysfunctional guys also. When I finally left my bad marriage & got into good DBT therapy & started processing my life, & found there were similar mental issues causing those behaviors in the people I did connect my life with & I was able to learn functional skills & being around functional people I learned how to really connect with others & have relationships. After that bad marriage I have no interest in that kind of relationship but other real friends, it is nice to be able to have meaningful friendship relations with now. I still struggle at times but have come such a long way.

Good post