Hey y'all. A couple of years ago when I was struggling the most, my parents made me try therapy. The goal was to have someone to tell me how to cope with my emotions, because my parents and I didn't know how to deal with me anymore. I gave therapy a fair go.

However, each session would look like this: My father would email in to my therapist about a fight we'd had, or something I'd said or done that he didn't like. Then, when I had my therapy session, my therapist would tell me everything my father had told her that I did. She'd tell me where I went wrong and what I should've done. I began to feel that I had no privacy anymore. Nothing I said to my parents could be safe or private anymore and anything that came out of my mouth was scrutinized by my parents and my therapist. I already had to deal with fighting with my parents, and then I had to relive it in therapy. When I got upset about this, my therapist told me that I'm upset because I need to stop drinking coffee completely and to meditate more often. I tried telling my therapist that I do meditate everyday and had quit coffee but was still terribly depressed and anxious. Even then, my therapist would tell me it was probably because I was lying about having quit coffee and wasn't meditating enough. Sometimes, I think that if one more person tells me to meditate more to fix myself, I will just tear out my hair. This was about 4 years ago. Since then, I quit therapy and gave up hope of trying to get better.

But recently, I find that I want to move on and I want to try and be happy somehow. But I can't help but remember what happened and feel that I've already failed. I'm not sure if I should just give up or what anymore