I tried to hold onto a job- again. I thought I was doing well passing as a "normal" person. My previous job I had to quit after 6 months when I was triggered to a child state and behaved in what appeared to be a paranoid manner. I got put in a locked unit and the employer wouldve taken me back- but I was too ashamed, and embarrassed. Now at this new job I'm not being fired but I'm charged by a coworker in Municipal court for harassment. The job made it neccessary that I work with the person online- and some parts got mixed up about who they were talking to - and this guy was not forgiving like a support forum. I wanted to pass as normal so when this coworker started flirting and coming onto me in emails I had a child part that has an "at your service" attitude and was ready to "put out " because of the pressure from an adult.Now he wants to make it look to the court like I solicited him for sex.. I had to tell him I was confused and I apologized- but instead of being nice about it he found out info about my medical history somehow and threatened to tell our employers. So like a jerk I told my boss and they don't hold it against me- they feel he started the whole sexual harrassment thing and wants to make me look "crazy." His name is mud at work now- but thats no comfort to me because he's still out there digging into my background and making me go to court 3 times already. He wont drop it and told the court I'm mentally ill because he wants me to look bad in a public place- to push me to act out and dissociate like a side-show act. I don't know how to hold down a job and stay out of the hospital but disability which Ive been on for 6 years is not enough. I just wanted to be able to "pass" but in this town now my cover is blown. I should give up already and just not try but thats not the example I want to set for my kids and other consumers like me.But I'm so depressed and fragmenting I cant stand being in my own head and skin. I wish I could sleep forever and wake up in a new world.
Thanks for letting me ramble- I cant go out today so Im checking back to see any support or advice anyone gives and I'm explicitly asking for some right now.
Crying-in-my-coffee