First, this sounds like a challenging shift and realization. Sending good thoughts to you and hugs, if wanted!

What's interesting is that this is a topic that's come up in my therapy more recently. I am someone who has felt things in this way--what you call "human," I suppose--pretty much my whole life. My T has remarked on how deeply I feel things and how intense my emotions can be.

I suppose it's just something I'm used to. But it can be difficult when others don't understand, as they don't have similar experiences. Like, for example, if my H and I have a conflict, he can be angry in the moment, then it seems like it fades quickly, and he's totally fine even 30 minutes later, like nothing happened. Where for me, I keep thinking of things he said, what I said, what I should have said differently, worrying that he doesn't want to be with me anymore, etc.

Maybe a better example would be a rupture with my therapist, which isn't *just* about my therapist, but ties back into stuff that happened in childhood. Where I can feel a literal ache in my chest. And this cascade of emotions that are just overwhelming.

I know all of that probably sounds awful and miserable. At times, it is! However, I've also come to value that part of myself that feels things deeply--as I also feel things like love and joy deeply, not just the negative stuff. I'm thinking of it more like a positive feature rather than a defect. It's part of what defines me.

My T recently said that I'm a "powerful force" in terms of the emotion I can bring into the room. I wasn't fully sure how to take that, like positive, negative, or just an observation. I'm still not sure. (Though I admit part of me thought, "wow, I'm a force.") I guess I'd rather that as opposed to just sort of existing and not feeling much of anything or having much effect on others. (I mean, of course I wouldn't want to consistently have a negative effect on others.)

Sorry, I'm just rambling here! Hope this is helpful in some roundabout way.