I too did laundry. No machine here so clothes are soaking in bag of warm water now.

Yesterday was one of those horrible days where bad luck explodes everywhere. It makes me feel like I'm imprisoned like a rat by entities who are experimenting and tormenting me or who feed off pain. Sometimes I get visions and deep feelings of knowingness about that. But it's unhealthy to think about such things.

Life was best in my 20s. I had a friend, a good job, didn't have unhealthy beliefs about my reality. I actually felt a little bit normal. My advice for everyone is to never ever allow yourself to start philosophizing about the nature of reality!

Just wish I had a friend. Life is too lonely and terrifying. Giving today another chance only bc for now I'm too afraid to go to the forest and fade away.