@karbybp2

Welcome! To me it looks like you are giving up trying to have a better life. I may be wrong, but if I am right, please search for a book on motivation at Amazon that you feel for. (I bought a book there about motivation and it was very helpful. Don't remember the title). What impressed me was that the author thought me that I was not lazy. I had to (re)learn how to motivate myself.

When you have been through so much, it is easy to understand if you want to give up, but please don't do that.

You have to fight for your life! Many people here have done that, and found that life can be worth living, even with a diagnose. (By the way, to be psychotic means to see or hear things that are not there or to have an idea that differs very much from how people normally thinks, like thinking that your neighbor is from Mars.)

I send good wishes for your therapy and in the hope that they will find a medication combo that work for you!