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Ever since yestereve, I've felt really, really strange. There's no way of describing it. I feel absolutely dysphoric, as if every happy thought and feeling has been sucked from me. A sense of impending doom, much like a panic attack, but not with a feeling of anxiety, but rather depressed resignation, a grim acceptance of the misfortune I know is to come.. I have no one to turn to IRL. I'm completely alone.
I don't know what to do. I even forced myself to take an hour-long walk, but I still feel really weird. I feel hopeless, lethargic, and dead inside.
I feel a whirlwind of negative emotions spinning inside me, and I can't pinpoint any one of them or find the origin of any of them... I don't know where to turn.
J
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"One by one, as they march, our comrades vanish from our sight, seized by the silent orders of omnipotent death. Very brief is the time in which we can help them, in which their happiness or misery is decided. Be it ours to shed sunshine on their path, to lighten their sorrows by the balm of sympathy, to give them the pure joy of a never-tiring affection, to stregthen failing courage, to instill faith in hours of despair."
-Bertrand Russell
With love and hope,
<~/J\~>
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