Hi indigo,

It sounds like you've got a lot going on.

What I'm picking up on is loss of control: fear for when your mom passes and also frustration with your job. Did I read that right? You work in a pharmacy.

I, too, am afraid for when my mom passes. I think I'll fall apart... maybe not survive. What would you suggest to someone like me to do to bolster myself up for when it does happen? I'm pretty isolated and it's my mom and me against the world type of thing... How do I stop obsessing about it? I am thinking of making a recipe book with all dishes and desserts that she makes... so I can make it after she passes. I cook, too, I might add...

As for your job... what is it you don't like?

It's wonderful, btw, that you have some positives in your life and you have them b/c you went out and did something: the art class, especially... plus the tattoo. That's all down to you, so that must make you feel good and more in control, plus more fulfilled. You need to go after things that make you feel like captain of your own ship!! You've already started to act on your own agency, if that makes sense...