I have people supporting me at home... this is not the first time I have gone through this- it's just the first time I've actually realised how serious a problem it is. I have surgery for my teeth next week. Then I will have to take some time to recover (it's gonna be a nightmare but I've been through worse). I think after I stabilise my physical health I will definitely find a place that can help me. Right now I am just self-medicating and trying to make it through the day... I have had bad experiences with rehab and hospitals in the past- too much trauma to even deal with now. I think I need to build myself a healthy framework and slowly start building myself again. It's just this recurring pattern that kills me...