So, one of the weirdest parts about realizing that I'd been abused my whole life and that what I had experienced was not normal has been having to confront all of the toxic traits I've adopted.

I've realized that my whole life I've carried a certain arrogance and superiority, tearing others down to build myself up, talking about people behind their back, believing the world was out to get me, always looking for the negative side, all kinds of toxic things my father does.

I never thought of myself as being a bad person, but I'm realizing that in a lot of instances I actually was the problem. It's been eye-opening and I have a lot of shame and embarrassment, but I'm trying to use that to change and be a better person. Rebuilding myself from the ground up is incredibly difficult and horribly uncomfortable, but also kind of freeing. I just hope I can stick with it.