It would be hard to prove that she was a victim if she lodges a complaint because of the issue of consent. It was ongoing for two years and it would be hard to demonstrate that all along, she was not consenting.

I think you are overreacting. For instance, you say that her closing her eyes means she is still being submissive, but many vanilla people close their eyes during sex. Apparently it allows one to focus on the sensory experiences better.

I think you need a therapist to give voice to your fears and images/thoughts on a loop. Separately, it would be good to go see a sex therapist as a couple, but interview sex therapists ahead of retaining one to ensure you get someone experienced in this domain. I think it would be far better to be crossing this treacherous terrain with the help of an skilled professional.