I would not want to attend myself. Not because I don't want to grieve, but here funerals are closed casket almost always anyways. So, I'd not "see" him again. Not that I would want to, I have seen what death does to people and even if they went in a nice way, they still don't look normal. I also don't feel it's necessary for me to process the loss, it for example did nothing for me with my grandpa. But also, all the other people would throw me off. Like there's his children, his wife, his friends, and while I know about them to some extend, I would not like the experience of meeting/seeing them in person at all.

As for my funeral, I'd want my T to know when and where it's taking place, and I'd be happy if he attended, but I understand that he has his limitations and maybe could not.