Are you currently seeking your passion at college, or more academics?
If you are grateful, your outward actions will naturally show your gratitude. It sounds like you are putting undo pressure on yourself in many ways.
You say that you don't show your feelings because you love your family more than your own happiness. True love is being real. You are really grateful but you are also really unsettled and there has got to be a reason why you are so sad.
It's unfortunate the way your father reacted to your honesty, but "living a lie," is just going to make you feel worse. BTW, nobody is perfect. If you feel pressure to act a way different than how you feel, consider the source of that pressure. Is it you? Or is it your family? Or something else entirely? Again, I am sorry that your father acted that way but there is hope for you. You do not have to go on living with depression...