yeah, the reason i am looking into this again was because last night some how there was a trigger earlier in the day and then in chat someone said something about pain pills and i remembered that I had come across some and ...
it is like a curtain came down in front of me and all i could think about was the pain pills - and how i should take them all right then. that it was the only right action to do was take the pills. take the pills. all 20+ of them along with my perscriptive ADs and a chaser of alcohol. like a compulsion.