I accepted my BP1 diagnosis years ago. I have even been relatively to fully stable for most of three years. I no longer lament that I have the diagnosis, but still wish I didn't have residual challenges (incl. a bit of trauma) from my worst years, and my medications, to a lesser degree. It's damned hard!

I don't dwell on "could haves" and "should haves", because the past is the past. Gone. Dwelling on what can't be changed is an exercise in futility. However, I still have "wish I coulds" for the present and future. Truth is, there is a lot I CAN do, but I must work within that scope, yet not let it limit me. Accomplishments are not always measured in the same way for all. They are relative.