It is, it's a bizarre dynamic and weird to think how long it seemed normal to me. I'm the parent until it's something he doesn't want to do and then he's "in charge". I'm just trying to keep the peace until I can leave. The sad thing is, I would have done anything to help him in the past until he sabotaged my life/job/health with a smile on his face, but I know it's healthier for me this way. I'll see if I can find those books.