With "entities who make my life difficult but always keep things just barely in the manageable pain range" - Just make sure you're not suffering too much, and always seek help, talk here or let someone know how you're feeling. There's always good people in the world that will care about you, me, anyone.
There was music I always listened to with the label "Strange Music" (Rappers that write about mental health and life - But with strange/disturbing vibe) - If you've heard of "Tech N9ne", at the end of one of his songs (And collaboration with some others), he said; "Remember, don't kill yourself.. Or anyone else! Stay here with us.. Your time to shine is coming, trust!"
We gotta stick together, through this ^- And sooner treatment for possible complications of TBI is better than later. I would hit my hand/fingers off the side of a table (When feeling too much mental pain), but never my head - I'm a scientist, not a mad scientist! (No jk).
When I was lining up for meds (In the psych hospital), a woman was standing behind me - She was manic, and said "The bumps on my head are cuz I can't sleep - I want to sleep so bad, I hit my head off the wall, to knock myself out" and I thought "!!! No way!.." - She always said "I'll meet you again" (And that stuck with me). She said "You seem too smart. I used to be like you. Try meth!" (She got put into the side room, put on 12mg of risperidone every 12 hours, for 3 days). But I realize, it's just how it is.. She mentioned some numbers to me, I then answered, and she said "See! He has a little bit of it!" (I'm 100% sure she was referring to.. Non-dualism or something.. Something like that)...
She helped.. But I lost my mind to come to that realization.
But no jk, SP is a real scientist like legit ^-