As with many threads I see here I have to say that I don't know if this is the right place to post this but my life condition and problems are multifaceted and I'm not sure, although I do realize depression is a major issue I get from it all.

I'll just make it as concise as I can and hope to get into further into details as I find some direction here.

Me - 63 yr old divorced man early retired due to health reasons.

social - semi-isolated only a few good friends, never remarried due to emotional scars of a bad marriage & divorce/custody battle, estranged to my only child from parental alienation stemming from decades long ex wife's influence and distant relocation. Only short term relationships with women over the past 20 years. Most immediate family have passed on, only close sibling lives 100 miles away, although still in contact via phone & web.

Financial - Modest fixed income that does not give me the ability to do the things I want or need to do, like relocate from were I live, or enjoy fully the retirement I have and the rest of the time I have on this earth. With health issues (spine) not many options to supplement my income to rise above the situation I'm in.

Logistical - Stuck in a rent controlled apartment in an environment that is not best for me at this stage in my life, in an area with a fair amount of crime and violence. (recent confrontations) Also the area holds some bad memories of the things I've been thru like the places I spent with my estranged child when we had a relationship or violent situations I've had to endure in my life.

Faith - Have lost much of it as no matter how much I have prayed or reached out spiritually I have not seemed to rise above the burdens that hold me down.

Childhood - I'm a product of a broken home, parents divorced when I was 3, never knew living with my father until a short period in my teens that didn't work out well. Grew up in a crime ridden violent area raised by a single mom, with no brothers, took some bumps and bruises along the way, at least stayed out of having a criminal record, but have seen some ugly things in life growing up.


As you can see the issues that I feel lead to my depression are multifaceted and are from every direction. many of them stemming from the decisions I've made in life (ie: who I invested my life in, fighting to be part of my childs like for 20 yrs and going broke doing it)

In a dark place right now emotionally, don't want it to get any worse, hoping I can find a path to a better existence.

Your thoughts and suggestions on a direction would be most welcomed.