Hey Muddy,
Firstly I am truly sorry for the abuses and terrible things put on your life by others. It explains a lot about why your life took the path it dd. I wish it never happened.
And the second thing which I can only write briefly as I have a lot on my mind right now is, because we have practically zero control over the choices other people make beyond just
then you're only left with yourself and the choices
you make. It is the way through. And in itself is, as you know, a big task. But people are embarking on that journey all the time including yourself obviously.🙏 I'm sorry if you feel blamed too. I hope one day that feeling doesn't impact you anymore. That's all I can say at this point Muddy.