I think a lot of the answer will depend on who is making the remarks, what relationship they are to you, the dynamics of that relationship etc.

For example, if the person is a significant other such as spouse or partner and they are deliberately saying hurtful things to provoke some kind of reaction from you because they enjoy seeing you upset, then that is abusive behaviour. If that significant other is saying things more in a thoughtless way and you don't get the sense they are deliberately trying to hurt you, then that could be classed as innocent teasing.

Do you see the difference? It all depends on context, and without knowing the particulars, very difficult for anyone here to say definitively abusive cruelty or innocent teasing. But I would say think about the person / people who are making the comments, what their relationship is to you and also how important their opinion is to your sense of wellbeing.

I hope that helps a little.

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