One of the risks with showing and not verbalising is that you are hoping that she is attuned enough to know what you are saying without you saying it. She might misinterpret (she could easily think it is a sign of self care that you are wearing different clothes) or she might not notice the specific thing you think you are being blatant about because she is focussing elsewhere. Once I started being able to be truly honest and vulnerable in therapy (and I still can't do it all the time), things started to change for me. In this instance, I would say something like, "I have lost weight and I want you to notice because it is a sign that I am unwell. If you notice, it means that you care about me and I want you to care about me. I wanted to wear different clothes to show you rather than tell you because I feel shame about wanting to matter to you and this shame silences me". Your version might be different of course. No performance, just hard, ordinary and uncomfortable feelings.