I struggle with anger because I feel guilty about it. I used to shout and scream, break things, storm off, throw stuff away (everything my mother did ). I still struggle with it, like splitting black and white: I hate you, I want to die etc etc. I try to be still now and wait for the storm to pass but it can take a few days. I feel really insane when I'm in an angry phase but it almost always comes from hurt so self-compassion helps.

DBT has helped (reading about it etc), Internal Family Systems (just yt videos), Tara Brach, Eckhart Tolle, Pema Chodron, praying, meditating, radical acceptance.

Spiritual life may be just magical thinking but it keeps me sober and not in prison, I just try to survive each day and sometimes it's easy, sometimes it's intense suffering.