Thread: I'm defective
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MuddyBoots
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Default Nov 19, 2023 at 08:16 AM
 
I've been trying all sorts of meds for months and nothing will bring me down. My friend says I need uppers because no sedative, besides like propofol and midazolam, is sedating to me haha. Now if only I could get my hands on some midazolam...jk Doc just rx'd belsomra and I got four broken hours last night (2nd night, first night I got 5 broke nhours) which is on the upper end of norm for me. I've tried like a dozen other things over the past few years.

I have been sober about a month and a week (from alcohol, meth, and weed, slightly longer for opiates, and much longer for anything else). So yes, that's probablys till affecting my sleep some. Haven't had a physical in a year or two i dont really remember but i have one next month. Did some blood work recently and had really low potassium but I had a drip to fix it and a lot of my other levels were borderline/due to rapid weight loss + refusal to eat they tubed me.

I'm a couple weeks into Hep C treatment, have an eating disorder (bulimia but it might be considered ANBP now), various other psych stuff (they keep changing the dx's and don't really know but psychosis, mood instability, substance use, self harm, impulsivity, emotional dysregulation, executive dysfunction, insecure attachment/relationship difficulties, etc.), dealing with a mild tbi right now. Taking aripiprazole, lamotrigine, pantoprazole, zepatier, and just started iloperidone about 4 or 5 days ago for tactile hallucinations that I don't really think are caused by my "schizoaffective" (BS theory, since starting abilify I have had NO psychotic symptoms other than the tactile stuff, and I've only been swinging between HYPOmanic and mildly depressed/kinda mixed) and took two doses of Belsomra.

Last time I saw a medical dr he chalked it all up to the hep c and started the zepatier (that was weeks ago), but the eating disorder is definitely at play too and together it's like napalm. I haven't seen my psychiatrist in person in over a month (we had a phone call though, but I just said I didn't have an appetite that came with the racing thoughts that I always have, but have been worse lately; it was a 15 min appointment I wanted to get to the bottom of my tactile hallucinations not spend 10 minutes talking about my restriction).

I really don't want to go inpatient. I've spent too much time in hospitals this year for both physical and mental stuff and never have I come out feeling better.

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