Quote:
Originally Posted by Knickerbocker
I'm in an odd state as I have come to accept the full hopelessness of my situation, I have become more at peace. I feel very light and calm, I sleep well, I wake up feeling like everything is good. Is this denial?
Even when I really think about how bad my situation is, I get a small sense of anxiety, but it doesn't take hold. I'm glad for the comfort, but confused by it. All of my fight is gone. I think this might be dangerous. I think it might be resignation and giving up.
It just feels so odd to feel so good. I truly see no way out of this, not with someone actively working against me and willing to do anything to stop me. Maybe this is a gift? My mind's way of giving me some peace? Should I fight this?
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your question - you are asking if being accepting, calm and feeling at peace is denial-
answer no that it not denial. denial is when you refuse to accept something, you fight against it, and it makes you uncomfortable.
for example -
someone gets diagnosed with a mental disorder
denial = heck no im not that, get away from me, you cant call me that, I dont accept your telling me that, I wont be that disorder. no I dont want to know anythnig about it because I dont have it. no peace just war against it.
acceptance = Ok so I have this mental disorder, what is it and what do we do about it, no anxiety, no discomfort, just calmly fine I have this ok no big deal lets move on and do what needs to be done or dont about the problem. no fighting, no anxiety, just accepting the situation for what it is.
in other words -
according to your post you are not denying you feel helpless, you have embraced it, made it part of your life instead of denying it.
now you have a choice - you can continue to embrace your feeling helpless and do nothing about what ever it is that has made you feel helpless. or you can explore why you feel helpless and make changes in your life so that you dont feel helpless.
for example when I feel helpless as a parent, I think to myself ok I cant help my daughter with this, I cant make it better for her, its her problem. but I can help her in other less direct ways.
another situation - years ago I witnessed a traumatic event. for a while that caused me to feel helpless and scared for myself and my family. I did not enjoy feeling helpless and scared, so I turned witnessing a traumatic event into a learning experience.
only you can decide what to do about you feeling helpless.
according to your post right now you have accepted the feeling and are not denying it ( you are not fighting against it or trying to change it, and it doesnt give you any problems to feel this way)