I’ve seen my share of women doing this, so I can’t call it gendered, although it is probably more likely to come from a man. Certainly not all men. In this thread I think it would be better to leave gender out of it and just discuss how frustrating the specific behaviors are.

I don’t know the term for it, but there is a subset of weaponized incompetence that I would like to call malicious misunderstanding. My brother did that a lot. Only reason for the past tense is that I no longer have contact with him. Malicious misunderstanding is pretending they don’t get what you’re saying. You’re trying to set a boundary, but they just can’t grasp exactly what you’re asking of them. You say don’t call at night because you have to get up early in the morning for work, and you need your sleep. They have lots and lots of questions. What does “night” mean, exactly? After sunset? You specify after 9:00 PM. Do you mean THIS time zone, specifically, or 9:00 PM in any time zone? Does it change with daylight savings time? If they happen to call you at 8:59 and thirty seconds (which they will!) are you going to hang up on them, or can they finish the call? What about emergencies? Surely if Daddy had a heart attack and is on his way to the hospital, you’d want to know. Or do you just not care about Daddy? Say it’s OK to call if it’s an emergency, and they’ll pelt you with endless scenarios wanting to know if that’s an emergency.

They keep asking you to explain it again, but no matter how clearly and simply you say it, they still just don’t understand your point. As dang dumb and thickheaded as this may make them look, they have a reason for doing it. You will eventually decide they’re never going to understand, and in frustration you will give up trying to tell them. Good. Now you’ll drop the subject, and they don’t have to hear another word about it.