I'm less autistic and schizophrenic now.
I wonder if I should become a waiter or cook (At the restaurant) when I get back (Cuz I'm prescribed a lot of dextroamphetamine, real awake and focused..) - But also, I like just doing minimum dish washing and prep-cooking at work, cleaning etc (For 3-4 hours, 3x mornings a week)..
So I have a lot of time.. I wish I could create a business or something.. Mainly, I want to make money, somehow.. I'm just not good at networking and stuff..
Gen Z's are really good at that stuff - I'm a Gen Z, but older, and grew up when technology was really ******, and without social media. I still did drugs/alcohol, didn't get a degree, had zero friends as a teenager, was lonely and isolated etc.
It's tough. I maintained a good amount of personal responsibility, and I'm okay!.. More than most people.. I don't desire a lot of the lives that most people do, my cognition is good now, I'm okay with my severely introverted self.... As long as I'm not around people that make my life hard.
My grandmother (For example), she sits and argues with people on FB (In the dark), all day, all night.. In a mansion, alone. I should just do what ever makes me happy - But I want that "Self-Actualization" - And I plan to get that... Then *transcend*... All awareness of myself, the world, reality, and beyond..
I have a compass.. And know what I'm doing.. I should have faith in that.. And I do.. I know things about the world that others don't (While being very very stoned on psychoactive chemicals, DPDR and psychosis)...
I'll figure out a way. Until then, I enjoy.