Thanks for all the loves guys
I just hate it when people say I'm going to have to feel like shyt for a year because I can barely envision myself living for another month, let alone a year. So whenever I hear that it's like "fk it, if it's going to take that long to get better might as well go get drunk/high right now so I can feel okay until I die." I know the realities of acute/post acute withdrawals I don't need them shoved in my face every time I struggle.
I don't think I'll get out of this mindset until I get into long term resi/sober living. I just wish the application/admission process didn't take so long.