Thread: Roll Call 202
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WastingAsparagus
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Default Nov 20, 2023 at 04:06 PM
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Blue_Bird View Post
I think I’ve been managing my borderline personality disorder pretty well. Meditation and mindfulness helps. I’m still taking my meds and I’m therapy of course. But I feel like I’ve made an immense amount of progress in the last 10 years. I was the definition of chaos and recklessness and impulsivity etc back in my teens and early 20’s. Tons of hospital stays, 3 suicide attempts, getting high on stuff to the point of blacking out one time, binge drinking, cutting, not being able to maintain a relationship and wrecking every single one I was in. I still deal with mood swings and paranoia and impulsivity but it’s on a much lesser scale now. It’s don’t act on every impulse. And it’s been well over 5 years since I was last inpatient in the hospital. I haven’t drank or gotten high on anything in years. I have job. Have been in a healthy relationship for 8 months. I feel like there’s so much stigma against people with BPD, but I have made it to the other side finally. I’m still impulsive in some areas in my life. Still get paranoid, still have mood swings, still think in black and white (all or nothing) sometimes, But I’m able to cope and enjoy life. My doctor wouldn’t even diagnose me with it at this point because I’ve improved significantly. I think I’ll always have it. It may have calmed down, it’s still there. But I think it’s under control. I just have to stay on top of it and manage it the best I can like I have been. I don’t act on every impulse. I’ve impulsively wanted to break up with my boyfriend for no reason (just mood swings) probably a dozen times in our relationship but I haven’t. I used to act on every impulse and destroy every relationship I had.
This actually really helped me to read that you've had a similar experience to mine. I am wanting to break up with my girlfriend right now, and I know it would destroy things. Reading your post made me rethink things.

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