Wow, Kim - what an insightful post.

It gave me a lot to think about. It sort of reminded me of the "gray" area I'm learning to be in with T right now - accepting that he cares for me AND he's only "kind of" available to me. Not "he's not available therefore he doesn't care" or "he cares so that means I can have all of him, all the time" - not black or white - but gray "he cares, and he can't always be there". It hurts - but in a bittersweet way.

Not that that is what YOU were saying, but your post reminded me so much of that process of learning to see the gray....and to live in the "tension" as my T calls it...the place between all and nothing, where the grace lies.